Writing for ME

So I am writing again. This is exciting. I submitted an article to a website for freelance writers that has the potential to pay $. It's not much money, but when you are just a beginner at writing for $, any money is encouraging.

So on this site, called Helium, you write and rate other writers articles. The top rated get paid. My first article is actually an essay I wrote on the existence of God for one of my many philosophy classes. As soon as I submitted it, my article fell almost exactly in the middle of the ratings... 70 out of 146. That was sweet.

As the days passed I watched my article slowly climb until it plateaued at 59. Not a bad rating, but I was disappointed anyway... I want nothing less then the best. So I decided to rewrite the article, shorten it a good bit and submit it as a leapfrog, which you can do once a week. The readers read both articles and rate them against each other, and others on the same topic. So I went back the next day and found that they had rejected the posting of my leapfrog article, to my disapointment... until I realized that my original article had jumped significantly in rating. It went to 12!! Today it is 11. Fuck Ya! I'm stoked.

Bring it On!

I love this movie

What the Bleep? Down the Rabbit Hole


What an amazing movie.. or documentary.. or mind-blowing work of art, whatever you want to call it, I would still call it amazing.

For those of you who haven't any clue what I'm talking about, well, I would attempt to explain but it seems that if you had any inclination towards this 'state of mind' than I would not need to explain what is about in the first place.

Quantum Physics, Superpositions, Consciousness, Reality, God...

Some of my favorite big ideas to play around with are all rolled into one wonderfully comprehensive film. How responsible are all of us for our reality? How much do your thoughts affect your body, your experience, your interaction with our universe? How do we change? What are we here for?

I don't actually want to go into a synopsis of the movie, unless my readers make the request, but I would love to discuss the ideas that it touches on with everybody. What are your favorite ideas in this film? What stood out to you, or made sense to you? Most of all, how do you plan to apply these ideas in your life?

My answer to those questions goes as follows: The idea that we are all god, and that we are creating our realities every day is the most powerful of the ideas for me. The research that the Japanese scientist did on thoughts and their affect on water molecules really stood out to me. We ARE 90% water. As far as applying these ideas, I already started writing thoughts on my water bottles, such as "I love you" and "Healing". Also I truly believe that I am the master of my universe and I intend to realize that as fully and deeply as I can throughout the rest of my long life.

Here's to intention!

I love my LIFE

Wow. That sums it up right about now. I have been taken on the wildest, craziest, scariest and most rewarding adventure of my entire life. I blew things up, spun them around, broke all the rules, fucked shit up and cried for eons... It was SO worth it.

If you think you know the way its going to go, or the way you think it SHOULD go... think again my friend. If you are making plans and have no room for error... I will pray for you. If life has kicked you in the balls once again and you are thinking of just staying on the ground... GET THE HELL UP!!! Cause the ride is FAR from over and I can promise you, if you are brave enough to ride it again, or ride it differently, then your adventure will be one of the ones really worth having.

I am once again grateful to the goddess for sending me what I needed and not making it any easier on me.

The Weird Thing Is...

We are moving again! Yes its true... and after ALL that. Life is SO weird sometimes. So we finally moved into what was being known as MY house, and it all went smashingly wrong. So many things that have been left undone came up and refused to be ignored. I could no longer look away, or try to convince myself that I SHOULD be happy dammit. It has now been almost a month, and we are on the verge of moving again. 'We' now consists of me, my son and my roomy. This time I hope we stay in one place for a while. I don't really know how this is all going to turn out, I know that for a while there I was beginning to feel like I was certainly going to drown... but now I think I am successfully treading water.

So the plan is to take over my cousin's house when they vacate. Its practically perfect for us, the right rent, the right amount of rooms, close enough to the school. It will be a good thing. A nice big house. Big houses are a necessity in my life.. I swear, since he left there has not been a day that most of my friends haven't been here, stayed here, or stopped by. I think maybe they worry about me, its a good feeling cause I am always the one to be strong and worry about them.

I need to spend more time with my boy though. I was too wrecked for the first little while, so thankfully he has many people who love him who were pitching in, but now I really feel like I want to just smother him with love and affection... he is such an amazing kid and I want to encourage that in him. Life can be really difficult on the kids if they aren't given the right attention when they need it. Well, my coffee is calling, and I need it. There's a little update for you... not much but something. Want to hear something else weird? I haven't opened a book to read in over a month.

We're Moving!!!

Well the time has finally come to move into our new house. Yipppppie! I am SO excited about it. Right now we live in limbo, our house is full of boxes and every day someone can be heard saying; "Hey Linny where is the_______?" Fill in the blank. Luckily we got smart and left all boxes packed with a particular rooms stuff, in that particular room. Still it is not an easy way to live.

I love moving though, I always have, and I have moved many times. Every time I move into a new house, it feels like a fresh start. This time feels even MORE like that because this is MY house. I can do whatever the hell I want to it and where ever I put something, is where it will live. Also I will never, ever have to live with roommates again unless I seriously want to. I love the idea of finally setting up my office space. It will be so sweet I can hardly describe the feeling of joy.

Also my son's room. He will get to decide exactly what he wants done to it... what colour he wants the walls to be... where he wants his transformer shelf to be, or his bionicle's. I love it love it love it. We are going to have to do SO much work right off the bat, but thats totally ok with me, cause its MINE. First off, most importantly I want to paint the outside of the house and build our porch, cause the outside is almost, not quite, but almost, hideous. The inside is going to be overhauled as well, but its actually a really nice place and the first thing that people see is the outside anyway, so thats where I think we should start.

This is going to be a fine juggling act on Monday. First, our tenants can't move in to their place until Monday, we have to wait for them, but we have to be our of this house on Monday, and our tenants are waiting for the tenants of their house to move out... on Monday....

Wish me LUCK!!!!

Fall to Pieces ~ Avril

Just the chorus:

I don't want to fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation, I just want to cry in front of you,
I don't want to talk about it, cause I'm in love with you....

A Poem that speaks to Me

So Just Kiss Me

So just kiss me and let my hair
messy itself in your fingers

tell me nothing needs to be done-
no clocks need winding

There is no bell without a voice
needng to borrow my own

instead, let me steady myself
in the arms

of a man who won't ask me to be
what he needs, but lets me exist

as I am

a blonde flame
a hurricane

wrapped up
in a tiny body

that will come to his arms
like the safest harbor

for mending

~Jewel

Dedicated to the Horned God

This has been waiting to be written for too long. I am yours.

Time to take it deeper..

To Fall for You

The beautiful insanity is a sweet, thick syrup of desires, emotions and control. You walk naked through my hungry mind bringing a hot throb that runs like electricity. I know I should banish the thought, cease the torture of my knowing skin, but I do not wish it...

I want to savor the sharp longing that overtakes my body when I think of your tongue in my mouth, my legs around your hips, the hardness of you in my hand, our bodies moving like water... like fire.

Mmmm. It drives me crazy to allow the images to run rampant and unbound in my head. The incessant thought repeats: I want you. I want to touch you. I want to taste you. I want to know you. I want to be unfettered in your presence and devour you completely. My body cries "come to me lover, let me worship you" My love knows no bounds or rules... it just is. This trip is sweetness to me.

Your scent haunts me so that even now, as I write this, the bitter and sweet flavor of my coffee brings with it thoughts of you. Your hands. Your lips. The skin of your belly is soft and hard against my mouth.. For you I could beg, I could weep, I could fight. How did I fall under this spell? Where did you come from or were you always there... just out of sight? Why can't I get you out of my head... you perpetually stand in front of me, desire in your eyes, passion in your touch... the energy burning my skin.

I want to sit in front of you, look in your eyes without the veil shrouding my heart, touch your face, allow my love to show through my fingertips the way it always shows through my smile. I want all of you, without restriction. I want to ride the fall all the way. Fuck fear and guilt. Life is for the living.

Sleep?

Last weekend I had the first all-nighter I have had in far too long. It was a blast. My son was gone to his fathers place for march break so I have been spending my time irresponsibly and with great enjoyment. A lot of my friends that I have now have only ever known me as a mother, and so they don't fully realize the freak/Quagmireish-pervert/irresponsible/deviant that lives inside of me yet. Only at rare and strange times do I let this otherside of me show... but when I do, many of my friends go... "whats wrong with her.. she's not being herself" Hahahahahahaha. If only they knew.

So last saturday was my last day/night of freedom before the child returned and so I decided that we should do something fun. A couple of friends and my roommate and I went out for dinner and then decided to come back and hang out at our house. Then, shortly after midnight another good friend of mine showed up and there was mind-altering substances all around. I will not elaborate on which mind-altering, considering the fact that many many things alter your consciousness, but I will make a disclaimer.... I am not into really hard things so use your imaginations, but don't go overboard...I will leave the guessing up to you. Now I am actually quite a light-weight when it comes to any substances anymore, but I still do get a mean contact high which is generally good enough for me and is all that I required that night. We danced, we played, we took pictures... all good fun things... and before I knew it, it was 6 am already!!

I decided that was a good time to try to sleep, but I was wrong. I laid in bed by myself for about 15 minutes tops and realized it was hopeless, and so I went back downstairs with most of the others, who just so happened to be playing Jenga, and laid on the couch, totally expecting to fall asleep there... which did not happen. Eventually we ended up a writhing puddle on the floor laughing and zombie-like. It was sweet. I did not go to sleep until 11pm that night.. and boy did I sleep like a stone. A good time was had by all, I love my friends, there all such freaks. If your friends are lacking, you can come and join us, always room for more.

That SUCKED

Well I wanted to write but all that came out was drivel. Hmmm too bad, I must be stuck somewhere... or else too damned busy to have anything truly creative be born in my brain. Ahhh well... I shall find something better to say... or else... dunn dun dunnnn...

To write would be an awfully big adventure indeed

I have had absolutely NO time for anything of my own choosing in the last two months, which has really paid off anyway, but not given me much room for writing... And then when I do find the time to write all that I can get out of me is erotica... gee I wonder why. Could it be that I am rapidly approaching my sexual peak (I still am undecided as to whether or not it actually peaks or just keeps right on going)? That I want sex more then a 17 year old boy does? Yes that could be the case, and its not going to get any better for years. I can live with that really, as long as I have an outlet more satisfying than writing.

I would love to write something a little more interesting than groaning about my sexual appetite... but I am finding it incredibly distracting. Hmmm lets see.... Well I have found one outlet for my pent up energies... DANCING!!!! WoooHoooo. Went out with the girls last week, even though I was exhausted from SO much work, and I was SO glad I did. Had an awesome time and decided that it should be a recurring event forevermore. I used to go out dancing every weekend, from the time I was 13 on (the town I grew up in had a kiddie dance club every friday). Then when I was older, I used to have dance parties at my house pretty much every weekend. My girlfriends would come over, and we'd all dance for hours. Well I decided it was time to reinvent both of those traditions and so from now on, we go out to the club once a week and dance at home (with lava lamps and trippy lights) once a week. Besides being a helluva lot of fun, it is great exercise!!

Our dance parties have been known as 'friendly parties' due to one particular night when most of the girls were wearing amber perfume (which is supposedly an aphrodisiac) and everybody started making out with everybody else. It was... interesting to say the least. I have weird friends and I love them that way, at least I don't have to be weird all on my own.

Are You Wicked?

Sorry its been so long since I posted, I have been busier than possibly ever before in my life, but I wanted to take a moment and do a book review.

Right now I am reading an incredibly twisted and enjoyable story called: Wicked~The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West. The title itself is what caught my attention, and then the picture on the cover, which is a drawing of the witch surrounded by animals. Or should I say Animals. You see in this story it seems that the 'wicked' witch just happens to be an activist for the Animals of Oz. Animals with a capital A are different than other animals because they are sentient, as in they can talk, think complicated thoughts.... like the Cowardly Lion. Although the Lion is not particularly brave, he can speak. Ever since the Wizard showed up, he's been taking away the Animals rights and trying to have them be treated as any other chattel.

The Witch, who's name is Elphaba, ends up sharing her University dormroom with the ever prissy and excruciatingly lovely Galinda (who later becomes Glinda), until, following the murder of one of their Animal teachers, they are put under a spell to do the bidding of a not so nice professor who may very well be at the heart of the murder. Glinda being the weaker of the two, does not resist, but Elphaba disappears into the Emerald City to fight alongside other activists in her own quiet and brave way... a green-skinned shadow.

This is an awesome book, richly written with flavor and feeling. I highly recommend this story to anyone who likes a good twist on an old tale, and who feels the pulls of the political poles in their blood, as I do. So pour a cup of tea, curl up with your Cat and enjoy!

Maroon 5

This is a post to declare that Maroon 5 rocks my world!! I have enjoyed the sound of this band since I first heard 'She Will Be Loved'. Something about that song really did it for me, and I loved the video. Then they came out with another good tune, and then another! This band seems to have the heat and talent to produce many great songs that just make you want to move your body. And move my body I do!

More then just laid-back dance tunes, their songs have a strange aphrodisiac quality to them. Listening to them often gets me feeling sexy and inevitably puts me in a hot state, with that excited feeling, you know, when you just want it. It reminds me of a lover I used to have, he had this quality that women just found irresistible. Yes that is the delicious effect that this band has on me, especially the album I am listening to as I write this: 'Songs About Jane'.

If you want a subliminal way to get your wife or girlfriend 'in the mood' put this album on softly while having a quiet romantic dinner, let me know how it turns out ;) I think it may be a mixture of the lyrics, the sultry way in which Adam Levine sings them, and the drifting, deep rhythm of the bass and drums. Yumm Yumm Yummmmm. Gimmie more baby.

Shuffle the Money

This really pisses me off! The other day I was listening to the local radio station, good DJ's, and they had some bit of news blurb being played. It was some guy (I honestly don't know or care who and if I did know I would probably still refer to him as SOME GUY for all the power he has to do jack shit) talking about the budget for the University. I go to the University here, I love it, but anyone who goes there can not avoid noticing that for the last two years or so they have been doing a helluva lot of construction around campus. As I write this they are busy erecting some HUGE new building that I am hoping to hell is a multi-leveled parking garage because parking is always insane on campus. Last year they finished the new International Building which houses its own observatory, which I think just rocks!!

Well as 'punishment' for all this construction, they raised student fees quite a bit, like doubling the cost of a parking pass, and if you don't want to buy a parking pass for $160, that's all fine and good cause they changed the parking slip dispensers around campus as well. Now, even if you are going to one 1 hour class, you still have to pay the 'all day' fee of $2. OK so that's not SO bad, but its still a little frustrating. Oh one little note though, this school just became a University, before last year it was only a 'University College' (which is just a college wishing it was a university).

Anyway, so this shmuck nobody on the radio was saying, in a very defensive manner, that 'WE' are going to have to do what's best for the University and shut down some of the programs that are not being as heavily populated at this moment. He goes on to say that many more students are enrolling in the trades programs and less in the arts. I just happen to be in the Arts myself if you haven't guessed. So he says that they are going to lay off some of the staff, and close some classes. Sure this may sound fine and good, but its bogus! It reveals the torn underskirt of the tramp trying to pass herself off as a lady. I mean come ON! This is now supposed to be a University... they had a big shebang, ceremony and unveiling, 'aren't we SO important now' party to celebrate this schools entrance into the "big boys club", and now they can't even afford to keep their arts staff populated. What an insult.

Like idiot children they go and spend tons of money on huge, expensive new buildings, and maybe a day after the election is over, they say "oops, we don't have enough money, better turn ourselves into ITT, I mean who needs arts anyway?" I have to admit, I have taken Philosophy, Pyschology, Acting and English, all of which fall under the category of Arts, and all of those classes were PACKED. So what the fuck is HE talking about? It made me so angry, and I could tell by the way the guy was talking that I was not the only one. Obviously many people are getting ticked about this, for good reason. This city is growing the way it is because of the University, no other reason. Fuck with it and see what happens to our economy, I dare ya. I mean what's the point of putting up new buildings if there are no students or teachers to fill them...dumb fucks!!!

A House!!

We found a house!! I am so excited. We found a house we want to buy and we put in an offer. Its perfectly run-down enough, but with a great structure and wiring and shit like that so we can fix it up and increase our investment. I have been doing renovations since I was a kid, its something my parents loved doing, but my dad was not near the carpenter that my love is (I remember once we just put that gyprock stuff over a wall that was warped instead of ripping the existing warped section out) and so it will be incredible. In fact my parents might very well come and help us work on the place, which will be awesome!!

The last house my love renovated was a wreck to begin with and he turned it into a beautiful, sophisticated house with an executive suite for rent. He is really great at what he does, and I am just SO excited to be doing it with him. My son already has visions of painting his room. He says he wants an Autobot symbol on one wall and a Decepticon symbol on the other... not to mention he wants the decepticon wall to be black. Of course.

No more rent, no more landlords, no more moving (for a while anyway). I can not believe how wonderful things are going. I love it. This past summer, for those of you who remember, I was feeling like a train wreck, setting off bombs in my backyard so to speak. Its amazing what a few bombs can uncover. Sometimes you have to hurt and freak out to figure out what you need. We are doing so incredibly well, but I think that the best thing of all is that we are grateful and recognize our good fortune... theres no looking around the bend for the other shoe to drop. Things are good and I can appreciate that, that in itself is something to be happy about.

A house! A house! Yaaaaaaaaaaa

Greatness at Work

Ok. So the next day after I wrote my post on my new years revolution, I got a call from the elite executive senior director of my unit who asked me if I was serious about becoming a director myself. I am so I said so, then she asked me if i would be interested in becoming a director in a record breaking ONE MONTH!

See our unit is on the verge of becoming National, and to do so we need a certain number of senior directors and directors, and since she is the one who 'discovered' me to begin with, she has always felt that I had the potential to be highly successful at this, and so she wanted to make the offer to me first. Well I recognized that in this 'promotion' is alot of work which would take a commitment from me, so told her I would need to think about it for a night, discuss it with my love. The benefits of becoming a director are many and awesome, and for a confident yet girlie-girl like me, absolutly attainable.

It did not even take us a night to decide. I realized that this is one aspect of my potential for greatness being offered to me, and seeing as I have decided to let the greatness be realized in my life, I jumped up and cheered!! SO I called her back a couple of hours later and accepted. So for two months of hard work (which of course is still about playing with the very best cleansers and cosmetics) I can earn my new red vibe, and an insane amount of money, and the potential to make an executive income for as long as I want to.

Wooohooooo!! Well Mary Kay herself was known to say "Expect great things and great things will happen!"

New Years Revolution

I have never put much effort into a new years resolution, I wonder just how many people really do? I mean how many of us actually stick to our resolutions as if they mattered, as if they are important appointments to keep... Now sure, I have made many a resolution, used to have fun with it when I was a kid... "this year I am going to wear hot pink nail polish and go to a movie with the hottest guy at W.C.I. (the highschool I didn't go to because I was 12)." Or if I was serious it was something like, "I am going to get into less trouble, and do better in school", which is a perfectly honest and reasonable resolution to make, but unfortunately an ultra-difficult one to keep considering that I am not the master of the universe and I can't control all the variables that play a part in the way my life goes.

One thing I do believe in is revolutions. People tend to stick hard to a revolution, maybe because it represents a desire that is closest to the heart, something they really want and feel right about. I have always wanted to be part of a revolution... well I am a revolution. I am a continually changing landscape that transforms through experience and reflection. My revolutions are chronic and hardly need a New Year to ignite them, but seeing as it is New Year, there is no better time like the present.

For much of my life I have had the fear of not being good enough; something I share with the majority of our cultural population. Two thousand and five showed me that that fear is unfounded, brought it into the light of day instead of performing its monstrosities in the darkness of my sub-conscious, and allowed me to make some big decisions about it. I have the potential to be everything I always dreamed of. No longer will I allow my insecurity to make important choices, I know there is greatness in me and I will nurture it and watch it flourish. This is my revolution, I will deny nothing, I will push myself and dance towards success, because I know that I can.

tempting

Waiting for the packages

Waiting sucks. I ordered some gifts over the internet, and although it is incredibly easy to do so, the waiting is driving me insane... especially since it is Christmas Eve already! Yesterday while I was out the delivery guy came by, but he left one of those notices hanging on my door. That was at about 1pm. It was fine until I read the notice which said I couldn't pick up my parcel until today after one. That's just fucked!! I live about two blocks from the postal outlet, but I have to wait twenty four hours to pick up my parcel. That should be illegal this close to Christmas!!!

On another note, I went to visit my good friend Who yesterday. She lives with her sister, Demanding, and her nieces were visiting from their fathers house for Christmas. Well Demanding is pregnant again and getting married, her husband to be also has two daughters... lets wish them a boy shall we? Anyway, I met the two new girls and they both instantly fell in love with me. It was very cute, all four of them wanting my attention... have I ever mentioned that I want to have a girl one day? Well anyway it was so funny to watch them circling their Christmas tree. The lights reflecting in their wide, excited eyes, fingers itching to pick up the packages and feel them, shake them, taste them even. The oldest girl came over to me and said "Can I open one?" I laughed and she laughed and I said... "What do YOU think the answer is?" She smiled sheepishly and said "No." I said "Good answer. If we opened them all now, there would nothing left for Christmas, cause if you open one she will want to, and so will she and her and that one too." Pointing to each little girl in turn. They all laughed at me then climbed on me and demanded we get a picture taken with all of us... it was very sweet. But I can't imagine having four girls... yikes.

Tonight is our traditional Christmas Eve party. Its one thing that my love and I like to do the same way. Lots of food, lots of sparkly lights, lots of presents for our friends, and don't forget the cheer!! This year we found the most beautiful tree and it suits our home perfectly. My love is going to prepare his famous and highly sought after maple cider glazed ham, it was devoured with absolutely no qualms at our tracemas party. He is an incredible cook and charming host, just two of the many things I adore about the man. In fact I met him at a Christmas Eve party 8 years ago, and he had made his ham, although I showed up too late to taste it, but I did get to meet the gorgeous man who cooked it. Even without it, I was smitten with him instantly, although it did take 3 and a half years more before we became a couple. Anyway, I digress. This year some of my family won't be joining us for Christmas, which is sad, but on the other hand, my loves brother will be with us, as well as Aidan's Daddy (Aidan is my son for all of you who don't know), so that makes up for the lack otherwise. In fact I am thrilled that they will be here, it's going to be wonderful!! I hope that all of you will have a very merry ho ho and be surrounded by the ones you love. Take care my friends, and any of you out there that are close enough to us, come on over tonight and have a cup of cheer!!

Merry Merry Christmas... Happy Hanukkah... Ho Ho Ho!!!

Sweet Gingerbread House

My son had his school Christmas play last week and he made a gingerbread house afterwards in his classroom... (at night!! he was so excited) and asked if he could wear his tux jacket and a tie... what a cute kid! This picture turned out so great I just had to share it with you all. Merry Ho Ho!

Abso-fucking-lutely!!

I got the greatest fucking mark in Acting this semester! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Ok so I got that A, but it wasn't just an A. It was like as close to a perfect grade as I have ever been in my life. And it was accompanied by such high praise from my Acting Prof that it was like getting a Golden A. The Great and Fabulous Golden A. It was so good I could have came! But of course I didn't... cause I'm just not a nymphomaniac, no matter how much fun it seems like it would be at times.

I went to get my last feedback session with the teacher and after some fun chit chat, we got down to the grades. All the way along, I nailed it, and wherever I didn't nail it, I came so damned close that I might as well have. It was an incredibly gratifying moment for me... it's just been so long since I was in highschool, and I did so fucking shitty when I was there, that I really felt intimidated by going to University. I guess I was afraid I would fail, and be as untalented as I feared I was. You know that little voice inside everyone's head. Maybe there are some of us who don't have that voice, but those people would have to have come from a culture that has not been fed on guilt and intimacy issues with every meal. I know why I got that 'you're not good enough' destruction in my head, do you know why YOU do?... the why matters little really, what matters most to me is that I know it's not true unless I make it true...and I just wouldn't do that to my worst enemy, let alone myself. So getting these super fucking kudos from my acting teacher just kind of aids me in my battle against the evil voice... and it felt sooooooooo sweet. Just knowing that this is something that I am really really good at... delicious!

If that wasn't enough. I went to pick up my last essay from my English Prof's office, and he just happened to be there, and what do you think he told me? Yes he told me I sucked. Hahaha... No of course he didn't... he asked me if he could keep a copy of this essay, as well as the previous one, for his future classes. He told me that my essays were a pleasure to read and that I am a really skilled writer with a wonderful grasp of metaphor. Now many of you reading these blogs are also writers and so you know just how good it feels to hear what he said to me. I beamed, I glowed... I must have looked like I just had the best fucking sex of my life, without the give-away mussed hair, cause that is what it felt like; complete, delirious, "ask me anything and I'll say yes" satisfaction. Ahhhhhhh.

Success is a sweet dish... it rocks to be brilliant and beautiful and do something with it. I must have done something really good in a past life, I just know it.

Yippie!!

SubUrban Hero

Supergirl Saves the Day!!

She arises from her long debilitating illness, to see right through the child's fake-sick and escorts him Off to school at the ungodly hour of 8 am. After the mad studying freakness left her veins (a little early I might add), she can barely remember how to tie her shoes without thinking about the psychological after affects involved. Not hardly phased by this, she quickly deduces the desired outcome of brain versus shoe-tying and wraps the job up nicely. In another burst of incredi-girl-speed she whips off a Super Essay sure to win high praise and astound from the lowly dry toast professor who's taken up so much of her precious time these past months. Off goes the paper, and ON to beauty school!!

What kind of super-chick would our heroine be without the absolutely required gorgeousness of the job. Cosmetics and super-tight spandex are the best ways into unsuspecting houses (and pants) full of perverts and boy/men (which is totally the same thing I know). Decidedly taking up the unfinished job of stripperella, but with much more sophistication and Real breasts, and no need to remove her clothing... ok well then not really taking up where the stripper-super-chick left off, but creating a whole new avenue of awesome-chickness, our heroine flings text books and beauty products left and right and every other direction at the heads and other parts of those in need. She calls it tough-love-learning, and quick-Hot-tips.

Racing back home at lighter then light speed, she faster then fast changes out of her spandex and into a corset, stocking, garter thingy-ma-jigy to cunningly (;p) seduce the precious lifeforce out of her archnemesis and lover... Super-manly!! *I'm talking about MONEY folks... ya know precious lifeforce, gees what a bunch of kinky pervs you all are* When the job is completed with utter satisfaction, our sexy sauntering super-girl is off once again... this time her destination of people in need... THE MALL... dun dun dunnnnnnn!

Tune in next time for some more freakness and weird thoughts coming your way.

Didn't your mother ever teach you...?

... if you have nothing nice to say, go say FUCK outside!

This little bit o'genius came flying out of my mouth earlier today... my roommate (Bad Kitty) laughed so hard and said she wanted to put that on a shirt. She designs clothing, really awesome clothing actually, so I told her that if she did make it, I wanted one too. I'll take a picute when its done and post it for all of ya.

Life is busy and wonderful. I am this close [ ] to being done my semester, which will conlude my first year of University...Yaaaaa! I am really cooking now, who woulda thunk it? Definitly not me when I was 16 and doing so shitty in highschool wishing it would just END GODDAMMIT. I am getting an A in Acting, probably another one in English (maybe a B+) and a B in Psyc... but we will really see when the exams are over and I am standing amidst the rubble. Wish me luck.

Just did my final performance in class yesturday, it went really well. The majority of the scenes were better then on the last performance day, I don't know why.. it just seemed that way to me. Maybe the performers were more comfortable with each other on this day... who knows but there were some fuckin awesome performances! It has been a blast with a great class... I was thinking of suggesting the theatre group puts on a performance of Chicago...Oh my god I woud LOVE that, I would have so much fun... maybe next year.

More to say when things lighten up.

Shedding the Things You're In

I was having one of those really great conversations with a friend the other day. You know, the kind that make you feel all warm and mushy and you just want to reach out and kiss the person and say "I like you SO much!" But of course you don't, cause then you would be a person with bad boundaries and little self-control and they would always wonder if you are just trying to get in their pants.

Anyway so we are having this excellent intellectual intercourse when I had an eye-opener of a vision. I was talking about remembering how many things (as in furniture, clothes, little scraps of paper) that I have left behind me in all the moves I have made. The realization came to me in a vision of a snake-like trail of all my 'things' stretching out into the distance behind me. First I only thought of furniture, then clothes, then papers ( I am a writer) came into it... jewelry, hair elastics, clothes, luggage, blankets/pillows/towels, did I mention clothes... you begin to get an idea of what the snake looked like. That thought led me to another, bigger idea. A horrifyingly vivid image of all the 'stuff' I have left behind me shot through my brain. I then looked at my friend an imagined the wake of 'stuff' he has left behind him.

The things I saw were not just furniture, or clothing, but everything. All the shit that we accumulate, use, and discard throughout an individual lifetime. I realize that this too is not an original idea, but get over it, all the originals have been taken, we just get to retell them in new and hopefully interesting ways.

Just imagine for a moment, all the stuff you have used and left behind throughout your life. Lets bring it into focus here... for all of you who are not just glorified children yourself, but who actually have children... think of all the pairs of shoes you have had to buy for your growing progeny. Now think of how many you have worn and discarded throughout your own growing and wearing lifetime. How about coats? Gloves? Socks!! Ok, the clothing pile is huge... and even huger for most women (like me), but think about the other stuff. What about paper... lined paper, scrap paper, newspaper, paper cups/plates/containers, toilet paper... How about plastic? Forks, spoons, toys, bags... Monumental isn't it? Think about all the disposable things you used? The coffee cups from the local caffeine peddlers. Toothbrushes, Q-tips, dental floss, tissue paper, ziploc bags, chocolate bar wrappers, ice cream containers, pop cans... the list goes on and on and on... Some of these things we recycle now, which is really really wonderful, but way more then we recycle, we throw away. If you then include beds, dressers, tables and chairs, t.v.'s, telephones, vehicles, bicycles, tires, tools and card board boxes... the pile stretching out to the horizon becomes looming and unavoidable. Just for one person.

Its incredible isn't it? Maybe not to some of you, maybe its something you try really hard to not think about, or try really hard to be aware of, or maybe you don't even give a shit. None the less, when you do think about it, you are faced with an impressive display of shedded 'things', and when you add all of your things to all of your friends things, and to their families things and then add all of those things to the things from the people you don't like or don't even know... well you get where I am going with this. It was an epiphany for me. The amount of clothes alone that I have discarded on my path are probably enough to clothe a small country. What a world we live in, and what a way we live in it.

Fuck.