Sunday, December 18, 2005

Abso-fucking-lutely!!

I got the greatest fucking mark in Acting this semester! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Ok so I got that A, but it wasn't just an A. It was like as close to a perfect grade as I have ever been in my life. And it was accompanied by such high praise from my Acting Prof that it was like getting a Golden A. The Great and Fabulous Golden A. It was so good I could have came! But of course I didn't... cause I'm just not a nymphomaniac, no matter how much fun it seems like it would be at times.

I went to get my last feedback session with the teacher and after some fun chit chat, we got down to the grades. All the way along, I nailed it, and wherever I didn't nail it, I came so damned close that I might as well have. It was an incredibly gratifying moment for me... it's just been so long since I was in highschool, and I did so fucking shitty when I was there, that I really felt intimidated by going to University. I guess I was afraid I would fail, and be as untalented as I feared I was. You know that little voice inside everyone's head. Maybe there are some of us who don't have that voice, but those people would have to have come from a culture that has not been fed on guilt and intimacy issues with every meal. I know why I got that 'you're not good enough' destruction in my head, do you know why YOU do?... the why matters little really, what matters most to me is that I know it's not true unless I make it true...and I just wouldn't do that to my worst enemy, let alone myself. So getting these super fucking kudos from my acting teacher just kind of aids me in my battle against the evil voice... and it felt sooooooooo sweet. Just knowing that this is something that I am really really good at... delicious!

If that wasn't enough. I went to pick up my last essay from my English Prof's office, and he just happened to be there, and what do you think he told me? Yes he told me I sucked. Hahaha... No of course he didn't... he asked me if he could keep a copy of this essay, as well as the previous one, for his future classes. He told me that my essays were a pleasure to read and that I am a really skilled writer with a wonderful grasp of metaphor. Now many of you reading these blogs are also writers and so you know just how good it feels to hear what he said to me. I beamed, I glowed... I must have looked like I just had the best fucking sex of my life, without the give-away mussed hair, cause that is what it felt like; complete, delirious, "ask me anything and I'll say yes" satisfaction. Ahhhhhhh.

Success is a sweet dish... it rocks to be brilliant and beautiful and do something with it. I must have done something really good in a past life, I just know it.

Yippie!!

2 Comments:

Blogger faceless pilgrim said...

congrats on your acting...dont worry so much. just remember to have fun.

10:17 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Wow, two high marks in your two fav fields (acting and writing are your fav fields, right?)

Yeah, I think that would be the ultimate compliment from a Professor to be used as an example of how to write.

7:35 AM  

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