Surviving Sanity
Well I am back. It's taken me a while, but life is so full and crazy sometimes that finding time to blog is just not easy. Time and heart I guess. I am fairly tired of living with that feeling of urgency and confusion and about ready to get to some semblance of feeling blissfully 'normal'. I am told by my father that when I make big changes, it is never easy (I like to think its not easy for anybody), and I always end up setting off a few bombs. Well I am in no situation to argue. Lucky for me, and anybody within a ten mile radius of me I imagine, he says that the battle does not usually last long before it burns itself out and I end up accomplishing some real change on the other side. It's funny, just when you think you have gone completely insane, leave it up to your parent(s) to tell you that they could have told you this would happen, and it's a very 'you' thing to do.
Now that I am on the other side, the necessary growth that's been revealed by the settling rubble is a little overwhelming to say the least. I am not a person to look away once my path has become apparent, I prefer to tackle my life head on, but when its deep rooted programming that I am trying to change, I can not avoid heaving a big sigh and wishing for a little leniency. Meh, what else am I here to do anyway? I always knew it was all about the experience, even if sometimes the experience really bites.
Last Christmas I made some special presents for my closest friends, the artist in me. I, being a word lover, came up with a word for each of them that I felt was important to their particular character and drew them in a 'artsy' way. They were words that I hoped would inspire them. This year my close friend, K, decided to make a word for me, she had help from some of the others to decide on my word, and she gave it to me when we were out having our birthday desert (we have the same birthday) just recently, in the midst's of all this upheaval. It was an inspiration I needed.
The word they had chosen for me was Growth. Ain't life grand.
Now that I am on the other side, the necessary growth that's been revealed by the settling rubble is a little overwhelming to say the least. I am not a person to look away once my path has become apparent, I prefer to tackle my life head on, but when its deep rooted programming that I am trying to change, I can not avoid heaving a big sigh and wishing for a little leniency. Meh, what else am I here to do anyway? I always knew it was all about the experience, even if sometimes the experience really bites.
Last Christmas I made some special presents for my closest friends, the artist in me. I, being a word lover, came up with a word for each of them that I felt was important to their particular character and drew them in a 'artsy' way. They were words that I hoped would inspire them. This year my close friend, K, decided to make a word for me, she had help from some of the others to decide on my word, and she gave it to me when we were out having our birthday desert (we have the same birthday) just recently, in the midst's of all this upheaval. It was an inspiration I needed.
The word they had chosen for me was Growth. Ain't life grand.
posted by clothosfate at 12:48 AM
3 Comments:
Growth is one of my favorite words. In biological terms, once you start growing, you start dying, right?
I'd like to believe that I'm still growing. I know my body's stopped for years, but I'm still learning new things, new skills, and new ways to see the world.
I would have seen it as a tremendous compliment to be handed the word 'growth', especially in a time in your life full of upheaval and uncertainty.
I cried :)
Okay, You are not a hater, just a - - - - -(I'm not sure). No one who is identified with growth by all of his/her friends is at heart a total hater. (Also no one who reacts to THe Notebook the way you did). I "think" I apologize. I judged you too hastily (That is going around)
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