The Absent
I am back. You didn't even know I was gone did you? I escaped into the mountains again, ahhh back into the silence and fresh air. The stars out there are magnificent. All of you in cities can go outside your home at night and look up into the sky and what do you see? You might see a few major constellations, a hint of white glow that is the milky way, maybe even a nebula or two, but when you turn off the lights and walk out of a house in the mountains, the stars are visible by the millions and there seems to be no empty space up there.
Here in the city my life swoops back in on me like a scavenger looking for juicy bits. I brought home a new roommate, which is a relief, someone I know and trust... to a point anyway, the real colours come out after living together awhile, we'll see. Unfortunately the roommate I already had, who happens to be a family member of mine, has slipped back into some old nasty habits and is trying to quietly, and shamefully screw me and herself over.
I hate it when the people who you open your home and lives to don't return the trust. I try to help people, its my 'thing' in life, but I have good enough boundaries to know when my help is being abused and therefore not helping. The time has come again and it makes me sad and angry that I am in this position. I just wish people would grow the fuck up and behave responsibly. Is it so much to ask? Is it such an outrageous idea that we should all be responsible for our own actions and consequences?
The worst part about it is that she is lying to me. I know she is lying to me, and yet if I just came out and said "You are lying" what do you think would happen? Do you think she would come clean and be responsible. Sure its possible but highly unlikely and so it leaves me in a bad position and leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. I end up having to be 'the mature' one even though she is 4 years older then me, and she gets to continue on with her little 'poor me' story in which she is the victim and the whole world sucks.
Yes the world can suck shit! Its true, NEWS FLASH!!!! So if that's all that matters well I guess its time to jump ship. I like to think that there is a whole helluva lot more to it then that, but then I guess that is the difference between us right there. I see possibilities, she sees pain. I have tried to inspire her to see more, but I cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves. I don't like to give up, but I know when its time to walk away.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! I hate this part.
Here in the city my life swoops back in on me like a scavenger looking for juicy bits. I brought home a new roommate, which is a relief, someone I know and trust... to a point anyway, the real colours come out after living together awhile, we'll see. Unfortunately the roommate I already had, who happens to be a family member of mine, has slipped back into some old nasty habits and is trying to quietly, and shamefully screw me and herself over.
I hate it when the people who you open your home and lives to don't return the trust. I try to help people, its my 'thing' in life, but I have good enough boundaries to know when my help is being abused and therefore not helping. The time has come again and it makes me sad and angry that I am in this position. I just wish people would grow the fuck up and behave responsibly. Is it so much to ask? Is it such an outrageous idea that we should all be responsible for our own actions and consequences?
The worst part about it is that she is lying to me. I know she is lying to me, and yet if I just came out and said "You are lying" what do you think would happen? Do you think she would come clean and be responsible. Sure its possible but highly unlikely and so it leaves me in a bad position and leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. I end up having to be 'the mature' one even though she is 4 years older then me, and she gets to continue on with her little 'poor me' story in which she is the victim and the whole world sucks.
Yes the world can suck shit! Its true, NEWS FLASH!!!! So if that's all that matters well I guess its time to jump ship. I like to think that there is a whole helluva lot more to it then that, but then I guess that is the difference between us right there. I see possibilities, she sees pain. I have tried to inspire her to see more, but I cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves. I don't like to give up, but I know when its time to walk away.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! I hate this part.
posted by clothosfate at 7:43 PM
2 Comments:
All the best with all that.
Oh, and... welcome back!
I find that when you blatantly tell someone that you know they are lying, they often get defensive and the conversation quickly degrades.
A far better method, in my opinion is to subtly challenge the lie, in a round-about way, thus teasing out the truth eventually by getting them to gradually admit the truth.
I hate liars!
Urgh. That can be frustrating. My cousin and I (who are very close) were talking about her emotionally abusive sister today, so I feel for ya.
Sometimes I just want to shake people and scream at them "Grow the f*** up already!"
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