The Vultures are Coming!
I have a friend, Morgan, who is perpetually bad with money. She wants a lot though (don't we all) and so she is often getting herself way in over head. That would be fine except that when the people she owes eventually come looking for payment, Morgan often gets her back up, as if they should somehow care if she's got other bills to pay.
Her boyfriend, Brad, would be a waste of skin if he wasn't such a drunk. I mean he's actually a 'good guy'. Caring, artistic, respectful and still a little wicked. Yet he suffers from severe beer-bottle-mouth. The guy turns into a total loser when he's drunk too; mumbling unintelligible nonsense for hours on end, eyeing up every one of her girlfriends that walks through the door, and he even went so far as to crab my crotch and ass with both hands at her birthday party last year. Yup, loser number one!
Now that doesn't say much for Morgans' taste in men. She's no victim here, even if she'd like us to nail her to a cross. Oh no, she is totally responsible for the state of their relationship. But of course she "loves him". No wonder love has such a bad name. With girls like her raising it up as the reason to remain in a totally fucked-up relationship with a sick bastard, who would want love?
I have tried to be a good friend throughout our years. Not being too pushy or opinionated (at least TO her), but not ever acting like nothing is wrong. I don't believe in that shit, just ignoring the elephant in the room has never been my thing. So I try to empower her, tell her she can't help him and isn't helping herself. I don't let his indiscretions go untalked about, but I also don't pull the trip on her that she HAS to leave him... I mean what can we do but support the ones we love. I just don't let it hurt me, and try to help her see she can do without him.
So one day my girlfriend and I went to this mary kay party.. yes it's a make-up party, so what, girls love to dress up one way or another. When it comes to the part where we get to order the shit if we want it, this other girl and I decide we want some stuff. So we start going through the process of ordering and Morgan decides to order some too. Now she doesn't really have the money to do it, but she could probably manage if she just got like one thing, but oh no... she has to go and order like $150 worth of stuff. I walk over to her and get her attention quietly.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask. She gives me that 'oh its all fine' look of the abused housewife hiding a blackeye.
"Oh sure... Brad's got a job lined up, and I'm almost caught up in my bills." She says to me, trying to convince herself. I nod even though she still owes me about $300... this year. I look dubious and she trys harder.
"Besides, Jenny has agreed to let me make payments and she knows my situation."
She should, Jenny is dating Brad's younger brother, the two get shit-faced together regularly. I shrug and smile, 'if that's what you want to believe' I think to myself. Jenny actually used to date my ex, and she was a real bitch back then, but I am not one to hold a grudge so its a non-issue between us. One thing I do know though is that she will not let Morgan slide on those payments.
A couple of weeks go by and sure enough... Brad lost the 'job' (really just short-term labor) and drank away all the extra cash. Morgan got so stressed and guilty that she got fired from her job. What a big surprise. So it comes time for Jenny to collect and Morgan has nothing to give her. Then Morgan is hanging at my place one day and Jenny calls up looking for her. I hand the phone over and Morgan immediately gets this pissy, pinched look on her face. Like she's offended and somehow being wronged.
I sit at the computer trying not to laugh as she gives Jenny her excuses in a very bitchy 'leave me alone' voice. I'll admit, Jenny is a bloodsucker, and is being really pushy, but Morgan should have known better, and she did make her own fucking bed. She hangs up the phone and turns to me.
"Oh my God! She is such a BITCH! Can you believe it? When I told her that I had not gone to pick up my last check from work, she told me she would come over and get me and bring me to the bank and shit. Who the hell does she think she is?" I can hardly stand the look on her face. Totally self-righteous indignation, as if she is being wronged in the most tasteless way. Before I can stop myself I blurt it out.
"Oh come ON! You shouldn't have gotten into it in the first place and you know it. Stop acting so fucking offended, you did this to yourself." For my generous bit of honesty I get a look of total betrayal and more indignation. This is not like me I guess, I am usually the understanding, patient friend who listens and offers advice, not shit-cake on a platter. I am too sick of her utter willingness to offer herself up as a doormat and then complain that she gets no appreciation.
"Morgan look. Don't let it bother you, she's doing her thing, you have to do yours. You are no better then her and she is no better then you. Tell her you have priorities and your rent is numero uno. Give her what you can when you can, and if she wants to be a bitch, well shrug it off and move on."
Sure its good advice, but almost no one knows how to follow it. People get stuck at the 'shrug it off and move on ' aspect. I seem to be blessed with this particular talent and I would be rich if I could figure out how to bottle and patent it. My words aren't totally lost on her though, which is why I even bother, and the look on her face settles to a worried frown.
"Ya.. I know, you're right. I just wish she would lay off. She knows my situation, she agreed to the payment plan. *big sigh* Ah well I will just have to give her some money I guess."
For a few seconds I enjoy the feeling of victory. If I can help at least one person, then I am doing ok. It only lasts a few seconds though. Morgan almost immediately starts into why Jenny is such a bitch and how it's Brad's brother fault that he's always getting drunk (this month), and how it would all be so much better if he would just find a good job.
I roll my eyes and she acts like she doesn't notice. Ah fuck it, what can you do? I roll up a spliff and stick in her mouth just to stop the incessant babble.
"Here, smoke this. Fuck 'em all anyway!" I say
"Ya, fuck em all!" she agrees and lights up.
Her boyfriend, Brad, would be a waste of skin if he wasn't such a drunk. I mean he's actually a 'good guy'. Caring, artistic, respectful and still a little wicked. Yet he suffers from severe beer-bottle-mouth. The guy turns into a total loser when he's drunk too; mumbling unintelligible nonsense for hours on end, eyeing up every one of her girlfriends that walks through the door, and he even went so far as to crab my crotch and ass with both hands at her birthday party last year. Yup, loser number one!
Now that doesn't say much for Morgans' taste in men. She's no victim here, even if she'd like us to nail her to a cross. Oh no, she is totally responsible for the state of their relationship. But of course she "loves him". No wonder love has such a bad name. With girls like her raising it up as the reason to remain in a totally fucked-up relationship with a sick bastard, who would want love?
I have tried to be a good friend throughout our years. Not being too pushy or opinionated (at least TO her), but not ever acting like nothing is wrong. I don't believe in that shit, just ignoring the elephant in the room has never been my thing. So I try to empower her, tell her she can't help him and isn't helping herself. I don't let his indiscretions go untalked about, but I also don't pull the trip on her that she HAS to leave him... I mean what can we do but support the ones we love. I just don't let it hurt me, and try to help her see she can do without him.
So one day my girlfriend and I went to this mary kay party.. yes it's a make-up party, so what, girls love to dress up one way or another. When it comes to the part where we get to order the shit if we want it, this other girl and I decide we want some stuff. So we start going through the process of ordering and Morgan decides to order some too. Now she doesn't really have the money to do it, but she could probably manage if she just got like one thing, but oh no... she has to go and order like $150 worth of stuff. I walk over to her and get her attention quietly.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask. She gives me that 'oh its all fine' look of the abused housewife hiding a blackeye.
"Oh sure... Brad's got a job lined up, and I'm almost caught up in my bills." She says to me, trying to convince herself. I nod even though she still owes me about $300... this year. I look dubious and she trys harder.
"Besides, Jenny has agreed to let me make payments and she knows my situation."
She should, Jenny is dating Brad's younger brother, the two get shit-faced together regularly. I shrug and smile, 'if that's what you want to believe' I think to myself. Jenny actually used to date my ex, and she was a real bitch back then, but I am not one to hold a grudge so its a non-issue between us. One thing I do know though is that she will not let Morgan slide on those payments.
A couple of weeks go by and sure enough... Brad lost the 'job' (really just short-term labor) and drank away all the extra cash. Morgan got so stressed and guilty that she got fired from her job. What a big surprise. So it comes time for Jenny to collect and Morgan has nothing to give her. Then Morgan is hanging at my place one day and Jenny calls up looking for her. I hand the phone over and Morgan immediately gets this pissy, pinched look on her face. Like she's offended and somehow being wronged.
I sit at the computer trying not to laugh as she gives Jenny her excuses in a very bitchy 'leave me alone' voice. I'll admit, Jenny is a bloodsucker, and is being really pushy, but Morgan should have known better, and she did make her own fucking bed. She hangs up the phone and turns to me.
"Oh my God! She is such a BITCH! Can you believe it? When I told her that I had not gone to pick up my last check from work, she told me she would come over and get me and bring me to the bank and shit. Who the hell does she think she is?" I can hardly stand the look on her face. Totally self-righteous indignation, as if she is being wronged in the most tasteless way. Before I can stop myself I blurt it out.
"Oh come ON! You shouldn't have gotten into it in the first place and you know it. Stop acting so fucking offended, you did this to yourself." For my generous bit of honesty I get a look of total betrayal and more indignation. This is not like me I guess, I am usually the understanding, patient friend who listens and offers advice, not shit-cake on a platter. I am too sick of her utter willingness to offer herself up as a doormat and then complain that she gets no appreciation.
"Morgan look. Don't let it bother you, she's doing her thing, you have to do yours. You are no better then her and she is no better then you. Tell her you have priorities and your rent is numero uno. Give her what you can when you can, and if she wants to be a bitch, well shrug it off and move on."
Sure its good advice, but almost no one knows how to follow it. People get stuck at the 'shrug it off and move on ' aspect. I seem to be blessed with this particular talent and I would be rich if I could figure out how to bottle and patent it. My words aren't totally lost on her though, which is why I even bother, and the look on her face settles to a worried frown.
"Ya.. I know, you're right. I just wish she would lay off. She knows my situation, she agreed to the payment plan. *big sigh* Ah well I will just have to give her some money I guess."
For a few seconds I enjoy the feeling of victory. If I can help at least one person, then I am doing ok. It only lasts a few seconds though. Morgan almost immediately starts into why Jenny is such a bitch and how it's Brad's brother fault that he's always getting drunk (this month), and how it would all be so much better if he would just find a good job.
I roll my eyes and she acts like she doesn't notice. Ah fuck it, what can you do? I roll up a spliff and stick in her mouth just to stop the incessant babble.
"Here, smoke this. Fuck 'em all anyway!" I say
"Ya, fuck em all!" she agrees and lights up.
posted by clothosfate at 7:58 PM
5 Comments:
You can't help those who don't want to help themselves. I've intentionally dumped my friends like Morgan several years ago. I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but I believe in being surrounded by people who are going somewhere, people who have their shit together. Friends like Morgan will only manage to bring you down.
I hear you loud and clear. I too believe in surrounding mysefl with what I call "beautiful people". With Morgan though, like I said, I don't let it hurt me, and I only give as much as I am willing. I seperate myself from all users, but she's a good loyal friend and she would be in a way worse situation if I up and dumped her. And no offense taken, I appreciate someone who speaks there mind, especially when I agree ;)
You do not come over as a nagging dragon, commonsense! you have plenty of that too. Age; still very tender, mate worthy for someone who shares your ideals, providing you are both Physically attracted. I'll give you a 9.8 for good attitude and understanding your responsibilities.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts, great stuff.
A friend in need is a bloody nuisance.
you ms C are in dire need of a good suck-- its the latest turn on --they are doing it every where -- its the WOBBLY REVOLUTION no more tit and boobs Wobblies are the in thing all over the states and canada and the brits have decided that Wobblies sound more of a fun name than boobs and Tits. If you dont use and say Wobblies You will be a Nerd or a Ding Bat, get them sucked today--and enjoy the thrill
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